Have you noticed that one of the most common phrases you hear from people around you is “I don’t have time” or “I can’t keep up with anything”? We often say these phrases ourselves. Due to the constant rush and the desire to manage everything, we experience anxiety and tension, which can also lead to more serious disorders or mental health conditions. What should we do? Is it possible to keep up with everything, or is it perhaps not even necessary, and we should learn to slow down instead?
The rush of modern life seems to cultivate a feeling that you must manage everything: get work done, go to training sessions, read recommended books, travel, visit exhibitions, go to plays, films, concerts, and so on. All this sometimes drives us to despair, sometimes causes stress because we cannot keep up, especially when we see others who seemingly manage everything, everywhere. And sometimes we reach a stage where this frantic rush of life seems to paralyse us, and we then choose the other extreme – doing nothing at all. We live in a time where we experience pressure and stress from our environment and receive vast amounts of information daily, which, as Algirdas Dambrava, a psychiatrist at the Baltic-American Therapy and Surgery Clinic, says, is impossible to escape. “This is the current pace of life; for some people, it might be acceptable, they recharge and get a lot of energy from it, but for others, it is not good. I believe that this immense pace, the continuous high flow of information – emails and social media from the very morning – is not good,” says psychiatrist A.Dambrava.
– Why is it convenient for modern people to create the illusion, perhaps even unconsciously, that they have no free time and are constantly busy?
– It could be happening unconsciously, or there might be other reasons, such as family problems, where someone might not want to go home earlier or build relationships – which would be highly important, but is not easy. A person might feel better at work, perhaps working overtime, and then visiting exhibitions or going to the theatre after hours. These actions can be unconscious, but they can also be conscious, where a person behaves this way to avoid something.
– Today we really do hear the phrase “I don’t have time” very often, and we say it ourselves. Is this normal? Is it shaped by all the circumstances of our modern life, or is it rather that the individual is unable to manage something in their own life?
– I do not think it is normal if we constantly tell our loved ones and friends that we do not have time. It should not be this way. We need to evaluate what is most important to us and find time for those closest to us, because social interaction and close connections are highly important. One of the best indicators of happiness is indeed close social interaction with people who matter to us, rather than a constant rush to work or elsewhere that is less significant.
– How should priorities be set?
– This is very individual, but I would think that if we work a stressful job, there should still be time left for our loved ones, as well as for physical activity – which helps to restore energy. We should maintain a healthy work-life balance, and sleep is also a good indicator of overall health. In short, everything should be reorganised so that there is enough time for the things that matter to that person.
– The only question is how not to feel bad or inadequate when, after reorganising your time, you really cannot keep up with some things, especially when you see that others seemingly do?
– We need to understand that it is impossible to keep up with everything. Some people are perfectionists – they want to do everything perfectly, to the highest standard, but practically speaking, the world and life are not perfect, and doing everything is impossible. We should plan the most important moments and not worry if we cannot keep up with something. Perhaps we will manage it next time, or perhaps it is not that important to us.
– You mentioned perfectionists; do you think this rush and lack of time are unique to such people?
– Not necessarily, but of course, people with perfectionist traits hit that wall of imperfection, because neither the world nor we are perfect. Their expectations fall, leading to symptoms of depression and anxiety. It might be harder for perfectionists, but I do not think this is only their problem. We experience a lot of pressure from social media; for example, photos with perfect images from all over the world are often posted, and you look at them and think: “Oh, I can’t do that, I have to try really hard now, I probably need to work a lot to achieve that.” But you have to understand that you do not need to do everything because, as I said, it is impossible.
– This is perhaps a somewhat philosophical question – do you think this rush of life is just an illusion that we create ourselves, living inside it like a bubble?
– I partly agree with this, as you mentioned, philosophical question. I notice that the pace of life is accelerating rapidly. Of course, there are also good things – certain dangerous, life-threatening illnesses are declining, life expectancy is increasing, and so on. However, this pace harms us. Naturally, everyone is different, and we must choose for ourselves – whether we can keep rushing like this or if we need to slow down. Perhaps it is better to look at life as a journey rather than just achieving one goal or another. Maybe a journey with some stops would give us more positive experiences.
– What health conditions are we at risk of when we cannot cope with anxiety and stress?
– Indeed, there are many conditions and disorders if we do not cope with stress and anxiety. Anxiety is normal, but when it becomes toxic and interferes with our daily lives, disorders develop. Very often, this manifests as heightened anxiety symptoms, features of depression, sleep problems, and often a shift towards dependency or addiction.
– When should we worry and consider seeking professional help for our own or a loved one’s mental health?
– It depends on how we feel. I can see that the stigma of seeing a psychiatrist is already decreasing; we are overwhelmed with patients and have long waiting lists – which is partly bad for patients, but encouraging for us because we see that people are becoming more open and less afraid of us. If a person experiences symptoms of anxiety or depression, or sleep disturbance, and this continues for more than two weeks, I would suggest consulting a specialist. In addition to these symptoms, physical ones can also appear – such as aches and pains, weight loss, or constant fatigue. There are also cognitive symptoms, such as finding it difficult to concentrate, work, or maintain focus, starting to procrastinate, or being indecisive at work. If this lasts for at least two weeks, you should also be concerned and seek professional help. Research was recently presented showing that depression alone can have around 1,500 variations. There are also many different types of anxiety disorders, both severe and milder.
– What advice would you give – where should we start, how should we organise everything, and perhaps change some of our habits?
– I think we should first reconsider what is most important to us. Everyone is different. I have patients who, despite working at a frantic pace, seem to be doing perfectly fine. However, we are not all like that. We need to re-evaluate our values, perhaps focus more on close social relationships with the people who matter most to us, and not forget to make time for ourselves – to find time for rest and physical activity, which is very important. Exercise helps us ‘reset’ in a way, and we feel much better for it. We should also try to change our attitude towards stress, so that instead of traumatising us, it helps us mobilise. How to do that? Well, that is where training or professional help might be needed.
